Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Ladies Room {overheard, laughs and snickers} PSA


An Important Message For Women !!

An Alert for Ladies!


You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. 
I have just as terrifying a warning to share with you!


My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs!!

It was just that quick. 
The replacements had the texture of Cooked Oatmeal.
It was horrible! Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.

Finally, hurt, angry and disgusted
I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.

And then the thieves struck again! 

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original!


I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts or worse ‘house-dresses’. I hate long skirts, I yearn to wear all those cute shorts and jeans stuffed in my closet.



And then two years ago I realized my arms had been switched!

One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of my hairbrush. 

This was really getting scary - 
my body was being replaced one section at a time. 
What would they do to me next?  
 



When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided it was time to tell my story.

Women of the World wake up and smell the coffee! 


After much research I believe I have figured out who the thieves are! 


Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?


THIS IS NOT A HOAX.

This is happening to women everywhere Every Night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

      P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs! I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them safely hidden in my waistband. 

I thought this news was too 'important' not to alert and share with my readers. 
Feel free to warn your friends!!


Consider this a public service announcement. We ladies need to be extra vigilant. It is bad enough the young, sassy and sexy of today are already stealing all the male attention... Now they want our "vernal parts" too!! 
Forewarned is forearmed, I say! 




21 comments:

  1. The criminal responsible needs to be caught...I've already been victimized several times myself...lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is too funny. I hope you get your thighs back asap. If not, I hope they find the crook.

    ReplyDelete
  3. laughing hysterically

    ReplyDelete
  4. It is insane I tell you!!!

    I think I need to take up a collection for a national "Wanted" poster!! newspapers, magazines the works!

    any contributors out there wanna help a lady out!!


    (wicked grin)

    ReplyDelete
  5. That criminal sure gets around... My boobs safely reside in my armpits too. :p

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are hilarious!!!!! I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  7. so needed this laugh

    ReplyDelete
  8. I needed this after my stressful morning :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. So THAT'S what happened to my thighs, belly and upper arms! And here I was blaming it on my daughter. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL! Someone stole MY butt a few months ago and I so want it BACK!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am so with you. I've been robbed so many times that I'm seriously considering dressing myself head to two in alarms.

    ReplyDelete
  12. So this is where they have been going. The swinging arm thing freaked me out.

    ReplyDelete
  13. HAHAHA Thanks for the giggle!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ha! Too funny. I'm off to file a police report. Someone stole my wonderfully high metabolism on the day I turned 40. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well, that makes perfect sense ... it's the plastic surgeons. I was leaning toward alien abductions! What a hoot!!! "Now I keep them safely hidden in my waistband." Haaaaaaaaa! Thanks for the great laugh this morning!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous5:00 PM

    Hey how wickedly naughty of you Faythe ;) :) I had a good laugh reading this one but I am going to be watching out for that thief, after all I don't want my skeletons pinching, or my bone either (and before you get too naughty I mean the bone I pick with those Zombies... Cheeky :) )

    Have a lovely rest of afternoon Faythe and I was so pleased to see you back inside my Space, of which you are welcome to visit anytime you like :)

    Androgoth XXx

    ReplyDelete
  17. How cheeky of them pinching your bits and pieces, even giving you a fright when you thought the BOOB SNATCHER had been after his nightly thrills...

    You are wicked Faythe but guess what? I like you... Lots :) ;)

    Andro xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  18. This culprit needs to be stopped immediately!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know!!He is still at it after all this time. What a sneaky devil... a girl just can't catch a break.

      Delete

Thank you for stopping and reading today.
Comments are always welcome :)